

Her hands are in everything-and everyone. It’s her party and she’ll make Asa cry if she wants to. Stormy is the undisputed boss bitch on her sets. “Why don’t I just write your article for you?” “What Asa meant to say, is that I’m the most intense director,” Stormy said, scrutinizing me as I scribbled all this down. “Stormy is definitely the meanest director,” Asa said, “or at least the scariest. Stormy pressed Asa to follow Kylie’s lead.
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“She knows what she wants and how to get it done. “I appreciate working for Stormy,” Ireland told me. “Kylie, say something nice about me for his article.” She waved over former porn queen turned set designer, Kylie Ireland. “Like a Morgan Freeman god? I picture you more like an Old Testament god, or like Zeus shooting down lightning bolts.” “You know she cast herself as God,” Asa told me, tempting Stormy’s wrath. “Stormy has the most perfect asshole ever,” Asa said. “Say something nice about me for his article,” Stormy told Asa. The two contracts stars carried on like a comedy duo, or a couple that knew each other entirely too well. “I should have just put a butt plug in her, and she’d have been fine with anything,” Stormy added. “Unless there’s a penis involved, I’m scared of everything.” “You have to understand I’m a total pussy,” Asa said. Between takes Asa hung curled in the fetal position, trying not to freak out. Stormy then surprised Asa by lowering her over a ledge to film a break-in sequence. In one scene Stormy strung Asa up in a harness that Asa assumed was a sex swing. The film in question was “Pretty Dangerous.” Stormy almost made Asa cry twice on that shoot, which seemed to be par for the course in their relationship. “I rewarded her by letting her have my butt.” “I had to make it up to Asa for what I did to her on my last shoot,” Stormy said. Asa was the first person to probe Stormy’s backdoor on camera. Asa held her pointer finger up as if to say, “I’m number one!”-which, in a way, was true. Stormy introduced me to Asa, who in turn warned me that her fingers had just been in Stormy’s ass. This wasn’t entirely my fault-her breasts are the size of weather balloons and they kept floating up into our conversation. I kept accidentally eye fucking her tits during our introduction. I know this because it was one of the first things she told me. We bumped elbows, which is the secret porn-set handshake.įrom the start Stormy didn’t have a good feeling about me. “My fingers were just in Asa’s ass and I haven’t washed them.” “We don’t shake hands here,” Stormy said. She stared at me as if she’d just discovered that I had tested out her three favorite dildos. The scene soon wrapped and Stormy strolled out of the sex room answering a slew of questions from her crew concerning the next sequence. Of all the places to sit, my ass landed on three dildos lurking beneath a throw pillow. I tried to sit quietly in the living room and wait for Stormy to finish, but I quickly felt something hard trying to penetrate me. I recognized Asa’s moans from listening to the audiobook version of her autobiography, and I pegged the other performer as Stormy based on the way she stopped the action to direct the crew. I felt like I was trying to watch porn through the eyes of a blind man, pairing sounds with actions. When I stepped inside the shoot-house earlier that day, sex noises resonated off the marble floors and white walls of the rented mansion’s many rooms. “Good,” she said, “Don’t make me regret this.” Stormy obviously had an eye for talent, even if that talent happened to be tucked snuggly beneath my skinny jeans. I’d been preparing for this moment my entire life with marathon masturbation sessions and endless hours of tweezing my man-bush into a camera-ready, bonsai-style shrubbery. “Do you want to be in a scene with Asa Akira?” Stormy Daniels asked me on the set of her latest pair of feature films for Wicked: “Getting Cozy” and “Girls’ Night.”
